Jesus's mental health

 You know that thing where you suddenly see something completely new in a passage of scripture you could rehearse in your sleep?  That happened to me today. 

I dont do daily readings/study notes - cant sustain them and they rarely seem to scratch where its itching but I do have a copy of a really ancient book by Scripture Union called Every Day.  Its just a list of scriptures on a theme each day.  I dip in and out of it and today I dipped in and the theme was 'attested by God'.  It listed the scriptures where God affirms Jesus as His Son.  And ended with Jesus being led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tested by the devil before returning in the power of the Spirit to lauch His mission with the words ' The Spirit of the Lord is upon me'

Here's what suddenly dawned on me. (and please weigh and test and think carefully about this cos I might not have got this right 😊)

Jesus was full of the Spirit when He went into the wilderness yet the devil was still able to get into His head.  How??  I realise that Ive always somehow seen the power and presence of the Holy Spirit and of the person of Jesus as an absolute antidote to evil. That evil cannot stand in His presence and must flee.  Like a force field.  Like bleach. And therefore, if we have 'enough Jesus and enough Holy Spirit' in us the enemy cant come near us.  God is a shield about us. a strong tower to run into, our defender and strong arm etc etc  But today I saw the devil stalking Jesus in the wilderness.  For 40 days he relentlessly pursues Jesus.  Did he only say a few sentences to Him?  I doubt it.  I bet he was constantly talking for 40 days solid, whispering and shouting subtle, twisting deceptions.  Bending the truth morning and night as Jesus battled to take every thought captive.  I suddenly saw Jesus fighting a proper mental health battle.  And Ive never seen that before

This revelation comes as a friend of mine is going through a life and death battle with their own mental health which Im finding hard to understand.  They know and love Jesus but they are believing a lie which is telling them they dont deserve to be alive.  How can this happen?

And then I look back to my own story and know precisely how it can happen.  I too once stood in that place of despair.   I knew God loved me. I knew His power and His presence but none of that seemed to be able to defeat the thoughts which I knew came from the enemy but could not silence.  It's a really odd thing to be a child of God under assault from the liar and be helpless to escape

The story of Jesus in the wilderness is not a story of Jesus overcoming temptation.  Its a story of Jesus doing battle in His head with the very real thoughts of no longer existing.  Had Jesus capitulated to any one of the devil's wicked suggestions He would have forfeited His divine life. He would have been rejecting the God-life inside Him and selling out to a man-life.  It would have meant death to His spirit, just as it meant death to Adam's spirit in the garden.

And we look forward to Gethsemane where Jesus actually does know He is going to physically die and He is sweating drops of blood. His mental anguish is horrendous. But somehow its not as bad as it was in the wilderness because a) He defeated the devil there and now knows how to resist him and fight and b) He is laying down His life of  His own volition, not because He has been tricked and deceived into doing so.  Gethsemane is a battle of submission.  The wilderness is a battle of resistance.

So.....

Today if you are in the wilderness listening to the devil, weary of battling, wondering if you can make it through remember that Jesus knows.  He knows absolutely and utterly how that feels. He made it through and so can you.  He fasted to get through.  Maybe thats something you could do?  Its powerful and the enemy doesnt really understand it.   Ask for help. Ask for prayer. If you are sinking go to the doctor. Because, do you know what?  You are here for such a time as this. When you come out the other side it will be in the power of the Spirit.  Not just His presence.  

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